Dr Phil is having a debate on public nursing

aspenblue1 wrote: Friday on Dr Phil they are discussing if people should be allowed to nurse in public.

gr33n3y3z replied: I cant see why not if your covered
Something to stir the crap up i guess
It should be interesting to see what his point of view is on it tho.

luvbug00 replied: oh that went on for 12 pages on my old debate board.. I too think if your covered I don't care..

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: Covered or not, you are feeding your child, not flashing anyone.

luvbug00 replied:

I'm not going to debate this issue but I just want to clarify. I hope most people understand because it is a very beautiful thing and I wish I could've partaken in it. But I would cover myself up personaly because I don't want some immiture teenager getting all happy looking at my esposed breast. Also I am aware that some people don't want their children to see exposed breasts but for me the #1 reason not to expose is I'm too shy to just let it all out.

PLEASE note that all my examples use the word I or myself thease are my opinions based on ..well.. my personal comfort

Maddie&EthansMom replied: Yes, I agree...I'm too modest to whip out my boob in front of anyone and everyone, but I did NIP (restaurant tables and all)...I just made sure I was covered for my own personal comfort.

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: My response wasn't meant that I thought those who said cover up were mean or anything. It was MY opinion. And I also would cover up. I have lovely reduction scars. Franken-boobs.

MomToMany replied: This will be interesting!

mom2tripp replied: Just for laughs---when we were visiting my mother and father in law in jersey a few months ago. I was trying to nurse tripp with them in the room and he was squirming under the blanket and I was having a really hard time keeping him under there. My father in law--who's from Italy says to me, "just take the blanket off in Italy women just nurse anywhere and everywhere it's not seen as nudity"

I was like, uh no!! I don't really want my mother and father in-law to see my boob!!!!!

ammommy replied: Why oh why do shows do these debates? They always turn ugly because, just like religion and politics, you won't change other's minds. Plus, hosts tend to book people at extreme opposite ends of the spectrum so no real debate can actually take place. Give me a debate between 2 moderates and it could be worth watching.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Heh heh... I'm interested in this too...

I live in an old age home.... where it will be hard for me to nurse in public, mostly because the people who live here PAY to live here, wheareas I don't, since DH and I work here.... but tif they start complaining... lol

Anyhoo - I'd have to say I'd have to cover up for personal comfort - I don't like being stared at, and some people are just to rude not to... but maybe I should't even bother to cover up, just whip it out a few times to shock some of the old farts...

amynicole21 replied: The woman on the Pro- NIP side is a member of the bf board at another site I visit. She said they filmed her for 8 hours straight and she worries that they are going to edit it so she looks like a tyrant. I hope not.

Kaitlin'smom replied: oh boy I wish I had DVR it I would love to see this. I NIP all the time but you never saw anything, not that I was shy about it, or worried what others thought I just wore clothing that was easy to NIP with and no one would know. I actully got a nice compliment when I was nuring Kait once at the sitters her Best friend told me 'wow your the most descreat BF I have ever seen"

I hope this is more on the positive side, we dont need more reasons for women not to BF

Maddie&EthansMom replied:
ITA! I can't imagine Dr Phil putting down either side, really. He does a good job of presenting both sides equally.

luvbug00 replied: .

I can't say I agree with that . But i very much agree that I do hope that this doesn't dissurage BF because it's soo good for the kiddies.

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
Weeeelll.... I could see him making the woman seem TOO MUCH. He can sorta discreetly make fun of her.... both women really.... he has a way of humor that could be irritating sometimes.

I can totally see him say something like.... would you go into the bathroom to feed your baby from a bottle? Then WHY would you want HER to go into the bathroom to breastfeed her baby?

or something like: your baby sitll gets the milk whether it's covered up or not... so what's the difference?

lol

dunno... I like him, and his quirky sayings

kit_kats_mom replied: Well, when everyone else goes out of their way to not offend me in public, I will set my babies needs aside to make them comfortable as well.

That would entail everyone who talks with their mouth full, to stop. Everyone who talks on a cell phone, to stop. Anyone with any flab hanging out of the top of their low-rise jeans, stop. Everyone should cover their butt floss, put their toilet paper rolls the way I prefer them (that would be the sheets coming over the top rather than under), stop cursing, quit with the bad perms, stop showing belly buttons, quit already with the bad roots, stop using slang, stop wearing red shoes, stop carrying ugly purses, stop wearing glasses and for the love of Peter, stop having blue eyes!

Ok, I'm totally teasing but my point is, no one goes out of their way to make me feel comfy in public, I feel no need to bend to their personal wierdness either...especially when my child is hungry.

luvbug00 replied: Cary you have a very good point.

amynicole21 replied: I love ya Cary... you crack me up!

kit_kats_mom replied:
Thanks. It just boils down to "you can't please everyone all the time". If you don't like it, don't watch. Exactly the same way that I look away when I see someone with super long fingernails. They gross me out so I just look away. Easy peasy. It's a total non-issue IMO

jcc64 replied: Sing it sisters!

Insanemomof3 replied: When I was nursing I could NOT cover Tristan or Demetri up. They got WAY too hot. They would start sweating so bad, and they could not breathe. When I had to nurse in public, I just kept my shirt in a way that my boob was covered, and my babies were happy. It doesn't bother me at all for people to see me, but that is just ME. If someone was offended, then I would just try to keep covered best I can. Hey, my kids were hungry, I had no where to feed them in public so they just had to deal with it. My kids were more important than people who get offended by everything in the world. JUST MY OPINION. Not meant to be taken rudely in any way.

mammag replied: There is a mom at Ice Skating who does it and I think it is soooo sweet! She is also discreet about it so it's not like she's flashing anyone. She wears loose shirts. I also think how brave she is and I wish I were that way. I always fuss around with a blanket. It's so sweet because her little one is 14mos and a tiny little thing. She'll just walk up to her mommy and make a little noise to tell her and has a little snack. Keegan tends to get sidetracked too much and looks around or talks in the middle of feeding so it would never work for him. I'd be hanging out all over the place.

huggybugboy replied: I have never been able to nurse in public!! I hate it! In the beginning, M would just pop off all the time from too much milk and expose me, now if anyone comes near or he hears something, he's all over the place!!! he pulls blankets off too. no discretion here. I have made it work though and were still going at 6 months plus. I think that discretion is key. I have a friend who just leaves her shirt up forever while her toddler decides if she's done or not. It was interesting to hear the anti-bf point of view, but I wanted to shoot her the whole time.

ediep replied: I watched it, and I didn't nurse Jason, but I have NO PROBLEM with people NIP. I thinks its fine. It doesn't offend me and I wouldn't want them to go to the car or the bathroom.

That lady got me so angrey because she just kepy saying "its not attractive" I would have said to her "your two tone hair isn't attractive, but if we were in the same restuarant, I wouldn't ask you to eat in the bathroom, so I don't have to look at your hair"

as if "being attractive" is the point of nursing

MomToMany replied:
OMG, ITA!! She really made me so mad too! GRRRRRR, it's people's attitudes like that that have this country so screwed up!

gr33n3y3z replied:
I missed the show maybe its a good thing lol

But what do they want from ppl. who nurse and when did it ever become a status
of attractiveness? Its feeding your child GET OVER IT!!!!!!!!!!! GET A LIFE

julesmom replied: I saw the show too. The anti bf woman was a freak. I wanted to smack her for continually saying "unattractive". She had no other reason why she didn't like NIP. Would she say fat people are "unattractive" and not want to see them eating either?

I had no problem NIP, but I covered myself because I am a shy person. I have no problem seeing other moms NIP either. I have to say though, one time, a woman I know was NIP in a pizza place. She was sitting at a table, not covered. She waved me over and when we started talking the baby popped off and her huge nipple was just hanging out there for the whole place to see. That made me very uncomfortable. Just me and I bf 3 for almost a year each! I guess I am a prude.

MomToJade&Jordan replied:
I didn't get to see the show, but that unattractive comment really gets me. What people seem to forget is we were given breasts to feed our children. That's why we have them folks. Ever since I nursed Jade I haven't seen them in any other way. There were times that I had to NIP and I always covered up. When I flew home to Florida when Jade was 8 months I think I had that blanket on me the whole trip. She marathon nursed for that. I plan on nursing this baby and have all ready gone to Motherhood to get my nursing bras. I will NIP if my child is hungry. I don't expect to make the person at the next table eating their burger to go to the bathroom to eat.

Mommy2BAK replied: Just to throw in my 2 cents. I did not see the show, but I can imagine all the drama. Why is america so obsessed with this? Everywhere you turn there is a debate about this. IMHO I don't think it's necessary to sit out in public on a bench with your breast exposed when all you need to do is put some type of blanket over. I personally would rather put a blanket over than to have to endure the sares at my breasts. When I was BFing, at my home I bf when and where I was, no matter who was there, b/c this is MY home. BUT out in public I didn't find it necessary to do such a thing

MomToMany replied:
JMO, but a mom's breast isn't "exposed" while she's nursing. And most kids (mine included) can't stand to have a blanket over them or they get too hot.

It's a hot debate becasue it comes down to the basic rights of moms to nurse their baby without getting ticketed for it. It's NATURAL, but our friggin' society only sees a woman's breast as a sexual object. So there are moms who are trying to get society to see that there's another use for a woman's breasts besides for a man's pleasure.

mom2tripp replied: Just my opinion----whenever I was in public and I had to nurse Tripp I went and sat in the privacy of my own car--NOT so that the public wouldn't see me but bc I wanted to be comfortable and my boob hanging out for everyone to see is not comfortable to me. I think for the most part no one really wants to see a boob when they are shopping, out to eat, etc.... I mean, you are right in our society nudity is seen as risque---that's just how it is there's really no changing that. I for one just never felt comfortable sitting on a mall bench whipping myself out for everyone to see!!!

MommyToAshley replied: I missed the show.

But, I don't have a problem with people NIP. I never NIP partly because I am shy and also because Ashley was such a nosey baby, she would pull off and look everytime she heard a sound. She was an acrobatic nurser, so there was no discreet way to nurse her.

3_call_me_mama replied: I NIP all the time and have yet to have my "Boob hang out" just don't see how it happens if you are paying attention to the baby adn what you are doing. Unless you have hugh breasts (whichI dont' and thats probably why it has never happend to me) and they jus tdon't stay under your shirt. Nursing in private because you are uncomfortable is one thing, but being TOLD YOU HAVE TO nurse elsewher is a whole nother ball game.

holley79 replied: I plan on bf and will NIP if I have too. I have already purchased easy to open nursing shirts and nursing bras, along with a "sling" carrier. I am just a very shy person so I probably will be "covered".

I do not have a problem with NIP but the one problem I did have was when we were at a resturant here, where everyone sits at the same table, a lady was nursing at the table while strangers around her were eating. I was a little uncomfortable with that because the baby kept unlatching......

That's just my

As for nursing being unattractive. I think that is the most rediculous cop out I have ever heard. Obviously she is a woman that has nothing better to do with her time then to sit and over analyze things. Maybe she has a jelousy issue when it comes to bf.

To everyone out there......

Mommy2BAK replied:
Well then can you please tell me what it is?

kimberley replied: glad i missed the show too . i have never had a problem with NIP and never will. i don't go out of my way to NIP, but if shopping took a little longer than expected and i need to nurse.. i will. it is natural and the reason breasts exist.

and i don't understand all the hype about being exposed either. i don't use a blanket because baby just pulls it off or fusses but i have never had my "girls" exposed to the world either. if you wear a nursing shirt/bra or a baggy shirt, the baby covers your belly with their body and their mouth and your shirt covers your breast. so what is the big deal?????

lets not forget.. not everyone can afford to buy formula and pay babysitters to go out so they MUST take baby on errands and to the odd meal at mcdonalds and if they need to nurse, lets not be judgemental. they are people with feelings. just my .

MomToMany replied:

There you go Tamara.

Mommy2BAK replied:
Then perhaps you are confused on what I was talking about. That definition is no where near what "exposed" to me would me.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I went to lunch this afternoon with some other kindergarten moms at the school. The lady across from me (whom none of us knew) nursed her child without a blanket (right there at the table) and you couldn't even TELL! Not one part of her breast was showing at all and she was a large breasted woman, too. Also, she was so relaxed and didn't make a big deal out of it. But, she had to feed her little boy. There are ways to do it to be discreet. I understand some babies are more active than others and in that situation it would be hard for me to nurse, too. When I started out NIP I would go into a dressing room at the mall b/c I'm sort of modest and bashful. But I always nursed at the restaurant table. I wouldn't take my child into the bathroom to eat.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: I loved reading everyone's replies because now that I'm PG with my second, I'm sooooooooo going to do things differently when it comes to BF. I am a discreet person when it comes to my breasts. It's hard for me to even be bare chested in front of my mom! So when I breastfed Wil, I would always use a blanket and either sit in my car or (lol) not leave the house! I did that for almost 8 months! I seriously thought I would get arrested or something if I wipped it out at a restaurant, so I'm surprised to read so many of you did it at the table!! But don't get me wrong, I think it's GREAT!!! I just wish I had the support of ya'll when I was actually BF the first time! Because I'm not positive, but I think I read somewhere that it IS illegal to NIP in my state (Colorado). Maybe not illegal, but highly frowned upon. I'll have to look into it more and get back to you...but I swear I haven't seen it done anywhere around town!

Kristi, yeah my FIL is from the Nederlands and he also told me that it was okay I BF in front of him. I think it's great he was comfortable with it, but I sure wasn't. I couldn't even do it in front of my own father, so definitely not my FIL.

Maddie&EthansMom replied:
Funny story....It NEVER failed. Everytime I BF Maddie or Ethan when my FIL was around I would go to another room and he would FOLLOW ME!!! My mother caught on after we laughed about it a few times and if she was around she would distract him. Crazy man. He'd come into the room and start talking to the baby. Ya know...I mentioned that I was modest and nursing in front of MY dad (or even my brothers) didn't bother me, but FIL....NO THANKS!! My dad would make comments like "Oh I remember so well when your mother nursed you...you were so dark complected and it was like night and day with you up against that white boob." I suppose me nursing Maddie reminded him of that b/c she was so dark and I was so pale when she was born. It's nature, ya know? I ran into so many men who thought it was so wonderful to see a mother nursing her baby and didn't think anything sexual of it. I suppose they were raised the right way.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied:
Okay I just googled and found an article saying that it's NOT illegal to NIP in ANY state and that their are laws to protect any women who is harassed or told to stop. Phewwwwww.

But I swear I read an article maybe a year or so ago. It was probably in Newsweek and it wasn't just about BF. It had a map of the US and it had little icons on each state which represented which states it's still legal/illegal to do certain things or maybe it was just showing where certain acts are still practiced. For example, polygymy was on the map under Utah. It was very interesting!! NIP was on the map and it was on Colorado and I swear it had a little cross through it. Grrrrrrr. I hate when I can't remember something, but swear I saw it! I looked it up in the Newsweek archives, but couldn't find it. Sorry to .

ilovemybaby replied: OMG I know someone who was thinking about going on that show! I'll have to have a look on the website to see if she did. Her name is Kristy... can't for the life of me remember her last name...

I think NIP is fine. I wanted to bf Abby but just couldn't get her to latch right... next time around I'm going to get all the help I can. Then when I tried to pump I couldn't get more than about 15 mls at a time. So she was formula fed. But she has always been happy and healthy.

Personally I don't know how I'll cope if I have to NIP. I am really really self-conscious because of personal circumstances. I won't ever bf in front of my father or FIL or MIL or SIL. I'm ok with my mother and sister and my fiancé of course... anyone else... I plan to pump and take bottles if I have to go out but I know it's not always possible and then there's the let down...

2_little_mites replied: This topic gets me so mad i dont even know why poeple get so offended at seeing a bit of breast. seriously its not like your working in a strip joint your feeding your child.
I think how carrie sums it up is perfect. if you want to be self concious and cover up, go to the car, or all the way home just so you wont get a few looks, so do it but i know i will not care at all if a little of my breast is exposed while feeding my child in a resteraunt or shopping centre and i will make no effort what so ever to put blankets over my baby while im feeding. ]
its my right as a mother to breastfeed and i have the right to do it anywhere if nobody likes it then that's just too bad


JMO

ilovemybaby replied: Oh my, I went and had a look on the Dr Phil site this morning and had a look on the message boards and you should see how many pages that debate goes for! I couldn't be bothered finding the exact amount but it was still going after 100 pages!

Someone was saying about bfing releasing oxytocin and how it causes s*xual arousal. I don't know if that is true or not (I didn't bf Abby for longer than three days) but I would love to know if anyone here is a bfing mommy?
I think they used the wrong words... I think someone else tried to explain it better... and they said that it's like a good feeling like when someone rubs your back...
Anyway, I don't want to start an argument about anything here - I am just curious because I plan to bf the next baby.
Someone said that she read an article about a lady who experienced arousal when she was bfing her child and she phoned the La Leche League to ask if that was normal and they accidentally gave her the wrong number to call and she got CPS or something and they took her child off her because they thought she was having sexual thoughts or something about her child, and didn't give her/him back for a whole year! That's really sad.

2_little_mites replied: what the, ilovemybaby i think these people never breast fed thier children and dont have correct facts. most of what they said was a load of rubbish. The oxytocin is what your let down is or rather the hormone that makes it happen.
there is no way that could possibly arrouse anyone. its a very strong sting in your breast while baby is latched on. it is what makes the milk flow into the baby mouth. to help oxytocin get there some mothers can think about a baby and it happens.

coasterqueen replied: Actually i've heard of people getting aroused when breastfeeding but I've only heard it is VERY RARE. It's kind of like people who have multiple o's (trying to keep this clean in open forum) w/o any stimulation, etc. I'd go more into it but I need to think how I'm going to post it.

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
It's more of a feel-good feeling like you getting a back rub.

You can get a backrub from a massage therapist, and not get arounsed - yet you come home and your DH gives you a backrub, you can be aroused.

I had issues with this exact thing when I was breastfeeding... it felt good. Not sexual good - just.... good. I thought it was a bad feeling, I didn't want to think that I was being turned on or something.... which I wasn't - it was that same feel-good feeling from, for example, getting a back-rub.... I just didn't know what was going on, I didn't have any information and was too shy to ask anyone about it, so it helped me <quit> bf-ing.

And yeah - it releases Oxytocin. Which helps the uterus get back to pre-pregnancy size quicker. Explains why for the first little while, when breastfeeding, you can feel contractions. At least, that's what my doctor had explained to me...

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
Disclaimer - contains graphic medical terms for natural human... um... happenings....feel free to edit if too offensive!!









Oxytocin is a hormone that can be released for many reasons, INCLUDING lactation, however it is also released during uterine contractions, AS WELL AS sexual orgasm.

So.... it's not surprising that it feels <good> although not necessarily sexual... considering it's the same hormone released during both....kwim?

coasterqueen replied:
That's how I wanted to say it. Your body releases the oxytocin while BF and it gives you and your baby the "drug" feeling as I like to call it or the "feel good" feeling. It's more of a calming feeling, not a sexual arousal feeling. Although I have actually heard a few very rare cases of feeling an actual sexual arousal, but they were able to 'handle' it and still bf.

This is a reason I truly believe in nursing your baby when they are getting shots and there are studies out there that support this, because if you are nursing your baby while they get shots they are more likely not to cry as much because of the oxytocin being released, etc. Very interesting stuff! Kylie never hardly cried when I nursed her and she got shots.

TANNER'S MOM replied: I am not a nursing mother now.. my kids are alot older. But in my family nursing was as normal as changing a diaper.. I was raised by a man.. and he never made a comment about my aunts or cousins nursing.. I can remember my dad being around a cousin I had nursing.. and I remember him asking her.. Patty are you comfortable w/ me in the room.. and she said sure. And he was fine.. and we were all good.. But I remember the respect he gave her more than anything.

Nursing in public doensn't bother me.. big chested little chest.. covered or not. It is not SEXUAL.. at all. I don't care if my husband looks at a nursing woman.. IT is not sexual.

Woman who find offense in seeing a woman feed her baby.. are woman who are uncomfortable with there own bodies and sexuality.

To cover or not to cover.. in public or not to me is whatever the woman is comfortable.

I am a heavy chested woman.. and when my milk came in there was not alot I could hide.. but I did my best.. I figure if I am in a restraunt.. do you want my baby to eat.. in a normal postition or scream and cry to the top of his lungs and make everyones meal awful.. or do you want to act like someone.

We talk about being DISCREET.. I think sometimes it the other people who need to be DISCREET.. with there comments and stares.

I have raised my kids to be respectful of breastfeeding mothers.. Tanner's babysitter breastfed in front of him.. I would often pick him up and the baby was attached and open. You couldn't see much really.. she was a pro breast feeder. Of course he had some questions.. and said at first he didn't know if he should leave the room or not.. and I explained to him to what makes him comfortable but it was just a baby eating.. nothing bad. And that if he wanted to talk to Mrs Brandie about it.. and what makes them both comfortable I would help him.. and he said No.. he just wanted to know it was ok with being there. And of course it was. The other kids have seen people breast feed of course.. we have answered questions.. and we have talked. They know that is how they ate etc. Nothing SEXUAL.. We talk about private parts and area's to children.. and I think they see that as a private area.. but I explained that there were two ways to veiw it.. and that when a baby is involved all he see's is food. A nurising horse or cattle.. dog cats they don't hide. We are higher in the food chain.. why should we.

As for the funny feeling.. arousal etc. I think of it this way. God has designed our bodies different. The calm good feeling is what helps you bond with your bady. It is a different feeling all together. Breastfeeding.. like childbirth is not always pleasant.. can sometimes be painful.. And like childbirth God made our bodies to release hormones to make things more pleasant and more tolerable... that is all it is.

If someone has so much time to wonder if the mother feeding the child sitting a row away is getting a funny feeling.. she needs to get a life..lol

Sorry this got so long..lol

My2Beauties replied:
Amen sista girl!

Maddie&EthansMom replied: