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Cursing!? - Anybody know?


loveydad wrote: Vincent and Kel always pick up on things faster. But OMG these kids are way out of line!

Like today, not long ago they were playing teacher and student- the problem is they were playing teacher of karate... LoL

but anyway, Kelton asked something and Vince goes "Shut the hell up KELTON I'm TEACHING!!"

THEN omg I feel so bad- Nicky kept telling me "Rabbit" it sounded like "Dabbit!" and I thought oh it was so cute. Well then VIncent goes "DAMMIT!" and I said "VINCENT JOEL!" and he says "Well Nicky can say it!" It was then I realized he was saying "Dammit" not Rabbit.

I don't curse around these kids that much! I RARELY swear around them, If i'm swearing I'm in the bedroom wtih Tav or outside. because they DO pick it up. I'm not sure where they're getting it, maybe tv? but i really monitor what they watch.

Any ideas here? I am using the chips system and taking away chips each time they do it.

MomToMany replied: My guess would be the TV. It's sad that even cartoons have swearing in them! I'm ready to chuck our TV out the door, I get SOOO SICK of all the junk on there. DH wouldn't let me do that though.

I "break" the TV during the day. I just unplug it, and tell the kids that it's broken. I worked for awhile, til Mr. Smarty Pants Ethan figured it out! Now I don't know what to do.

gr33n3y3z replied: Swearing is all around the children in the food stores,mall its everywhere
So its kinda hard to shelter the kids from it But you can teach them its not nice to say and for them not to do it.

ediep replied: thats hard.....my sister is having the same problem....They could pick up those words anywhere. I guess try to stay calm and tell them thats not nice to say and take away some chips.
Good luck!!
I am not looking forward to those types of problems.

Alice replied: I agree... the chips are probably the best way to go about it.

Could they be getting it from the older kids?? I'm pretty sure that the kiddie shows they're watching aren't the cause: the Wiggles and Clifford pretty much avoid the 4 letter words.

On a similar note: when my now-23 year old niece moved in with us at age 2, we all had fun teaching her things. As Easter rolled around, I worked with her on the words: Easter bunny, eggs, and so on. She did them all, but would NOT say basket. It took me a while to realize she thought I was saying "Bast..." and knew she would be eating soap for a week if she ever said that!!

Hillbilly Housewife replied: lol!!!

My son says Son Of a Bit**......

OOps! Mom's gotten her finger stuck somewehere WAYYY to often..... that's the only time I swear, is when I hurt myself by accident..... it just sorta rolls out, and there's nothing I can do "in time" to not say it.... lol

Good luck!

Kaitlin'smom replied: eeek thats a hard one Kaitlin has repeted one from daddy a while ago but it did not last long the only thing I catch her saying now is shut up, and I know where she gets that from, the sitters son. I have explained to her its not nice, and mommy does not like thoes kind of word, thankfully she does not say it much. I dread the worse words

what is the chip system???

A&A'smommy replied: yeah its pretty hard to shelter them from it because it is EVERYWHERE all you can really do is avoid if you can and teach them its not nice... ugh I feel for you!

loveydad replied:
Mine said son of a B*** and I spanked his little butt! and I DO NOT spank but I couldn't think of any other weay for him to get it.

The chips system is a system I use. The kids get poker chips for good things they do (playing nicely with a sibling without being asked, doing something nice for someone else, doing a chore I ask them to do, eating all their dinner,) and I take them away when they do something bad (hitting, kicking, yelling, being mean to the little kids, lying ect) but they don't get them everytime they're good. They never know when they're going to get a chip so they're good all the time hoping for them. Eventually they learned to do those things just because they're nice. Or they are learning.

So they turn them in - they're worth so much (25 cents) in money but they cna't just go like " i want a quarter here's a chip" they have to be saving up for something in particular or just for a "toy" or a "movie" and Then they're worth an amount of time (5 minutes usualy) and that time can be spent on after hours television, playing video games, time alone with dad or henry, and eventually they can save them up for an hour long trip somewhere when I have time.

I hope that makes any sense. It works really well with Kel he's got about 250 chips saved up and I give them 1-5 at time

mom21kid2dogs replied: Our approach is twofold here. Olivia is a button pusher~loves the reaction~any reaction. Luckily for me, my mom pointed out to me early (like last year at my FIL funeral visitation when she decided it would be a great time to start saying "Da** it) that the more I react, the better the game. Mom knows this well since I was her self proclaimed best button pusher!! rolling_smile.gif Of course, Olivia was 3, not 5.

The other day, out of the blue, she called me "stupid". That earned her an early bedtime. Because I rarely have to do this (In fact, it's the first time I've ever had to do it), it's a severe punishment in my house. No story, no rocking, no cuddling (because, after all stupid moms can't do those things cool.gif ), just bed. She cried & apologized the entire way up the stairs and it continued until she fell asleep. I haven't heard it since. If chips are your usual method of discpline, he may have just decided the loss of one isn't great enough to justify the satisfaction of saying the word. If you up the ante with something HE values, you might get a quicker result.

Not only is TV fairly vile, especially if they see any of the "older" kid TV shows but radio is as well. Do your teens listen to mainstream radio or music around the littler ones? My husband's radio fell off the usual station we listen to the other day and when my daughter turned it on the words "But will she do you in the movies, does she want to have your baby?" came blaring out~real nice!! Granted, she has no clue how disgusting that was, but it's just the beginning of how those kinds of things start eroding the values you try to teach at home. We don't listen to any mainstream radio or TV. True, they can hear it anywhere, but you still can impress upon them that it is wrong! If it's high on your "Can't tolerate this" list, consequence it as such.

Hope it helps! It's really hard when you have older kids and younger to keep a balance!

loveydad replied:
no henry listens to stuff without curse words and country. the kids know most of that too.

They don't watch anything on television that would cause this guys. They watch cartoons all day and in the evening they watch what I'm watching and I d'nt want vulgarity. In the evening tho they have chips if they want to watch something in the playroom they're limited in tv time.

I'm not taking one chip I'm taking 10 chips when they do it.

I've also spanked his butt for it.

Josie83 replied: Gosh Vig I don't have any advice. I know how quickly they pick things up though. Jason and I don't swear around Cassie but sometimes something just pops out (of Jason's mouth usually) and Cassie LOVES to copy. he said sh*t once when he dropped something in the kitchen and the next day Cassie dropped something and what did she say? I didn't punish her because she didn't realise it was wrong. If they know its wrong, I think your chip system sounds like it works. But if they don't understand that its wrong, make sure that they do! I don't have any other advice though. But I have to say Nicky saying dammit is pretty funny wink.gif xx

loveydad replied: LOL it is. They know it's bad.

Except I realize I'm at fault for part ot this. Last night I was frustrated and referred to someone as a B*** and Kelton looks at Vince and says "ba----" and I go "NU UH KELTON! CORNER!! NOWWWWWWWWW!" and he's all upset about that. But I'm SIC Kto death of them making me look horrid in front of the relatives.

atlantamomof2 replied: When I was pregnant with Maggie I got really fired up to stop any swearing! ohmy.gif I even enforced it with my DH, and he was fine with it. I would find that if I hurt myself I would quickly say sh**; or when I was mad I'd say "What the he**?!" So, anyway, by the time I had her we had ceased saying anything we wouldn't want her saying. It has worked really well. And I'm really proud of DH because I KNOW he hears guys at work talking like SAILORS all day long!

I think the chips system is fine as long as they know why they're getting in trouble, and as long as you eliminate them hearing it as much as possible. It's not fair to them if they're being exposed to it by t.v, radio, you & your wife, etc. and then expect them NOT to say the same thing. I even hate it when I hear Maggie say "Oh My Gosh!" when she hears surprising news. It just sounds so vulger coming out of her innocent mouth. dry.gif You can guess who says it, though.....ME. blush.gif

loveydad replied: Well I've already said that I'm screening thei rtv and they aren't hearing it.

None the less. I know a lot of people who curse in front of their kids. They're old enough to not say it back.

louneytoon replied: Hi all... This is my first post.. I'm mom to Amanda 5-1/2 and Sami 4.. The cursing issue has come up in our home as well.. I also can't control myself all the time, so what i do is if they curse i tell them it's a bad word and that if they hear mom or dad say it to make sure and tell us we said a bad word.. And they love to do that! They say "mom, you said a bad word" and i say "you're right, i'm sorry.. "
It has worked pretty good so far.. I haven't heard anything else out of their mouths.. biggrin.gif

Hope this helps..
Lori


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