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Am I wrong??? - Here we go again with poopy issues

My2Beauties wrote: OK so we've gone back to poopy issues with Hanna constantly pooping in her pants. When I ask her why she's doing it, she says because it's funny ohmy.gif She is actually pooping in her pants and then taking her pants off and it gets on her legs, hands, arms, feet, everything. She does it while she's playing in her room or in another room away from me. She had it all over her so bad the other night that I had to put her in the tub to clean her up. When I did I had a long talk with her because nothing is working. I mean the kid gets so much attention, so I don't think it's that she's wanting attention. I mean we're constantly playing with her, playing games with her, showering her with affection, talking to her, doing everything with her. I think it's a control thing with her. She hates to not be in control. Anyways, I sat her down and told her that because I've tried the reward thing and I've tried so many other things that I'm going to have to start taking toys away. I told her if she poops in her pants again, we'll start by putting her dollhouse up. Once she poops in the potty then she gets her toy back. If she continues to poop on herself I'll take another toy away. I also told her that if she feels the need to poop in her pants then I have no problem going out and buying her pull-ups or diapers - she insisted that she wears panties and will not wear a pull-up or diaper, so I proceeded to tell her that big kids who wear panties poop no the potty, and that kids who still poop in their pants wear pull-ups. She didn't like the idea so I'm hoping the threat of both alone will make her poop on the potty. My thing is, do you guys think I'm wrong for taking away a toy for this type of behavior. She doesn't have problems going anymore, she goes on a consistent basis, she was doi perfect for a long time and all of the sudden she started doing this again. Should I handle it another way?I'm so sick of dealing with this, I mean she has been doing this for over a month now and I've thrown away probably a dozen pair of her underwear. She'll say she's sorry when she does it but then she turns around and says she thinks it's funny and she likes doing it blink.gif I really don't know how to approach this any other way anymore. I've tried everything.

My3LilMonkeys replied: Personally, I agree with you. Given that she has used the potty regularly, you know she's capable. If rewards aren't working, punishment is the logical next step.

sweetgirl replied: [COLOR=blue]Hey, she is so cute. I have a little boy named Landon, 18mo.. Anyway, I think that is a great idea. Goodluck!

luvmykids replied: I think you're right. I think another thing is kids can get kind of lazy about it, they get too caught up in what they're doing to stop and go to the bathroom. Hang in there, you're on the right track.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: I don't think it's a bad idea... i mean - she KNOWS she's able to go to the potty. It's a choice she's making, it's not an accident.

DansMom replied: Is she possibly regressing because there's a baby on the way? Sometimes the feeling that they won't be the baby anymore causes children to regress. Another possibility is a growth spurt---sometimes they regress in potty usage during periods of fast growth. I don't think it hurts to try what you're trying. If it doesn't work, I wouldn't stick with removal of toys for more than a couple of weeks---but I would go back to diapers as a natural consequence for this behavior. Good luck! My little sister has similar issues with her daughter, and it's definitely seeming like a control thing with her. Very frustrating.

toni replied: Hiya!

My son was pooping in his pants for a little while just after he started using the potty...the way i found that managed to stop it was pre-guessing when he was about to poop and making him sit on the potty it has to go in....

This managed to sort it out very quickly. Other things that were said to me was to get the child to help clean up (a bit gross with poop-maybe after you've cleaned the floor etc you get her to wipe it to...and you give her the flannel in the bath tub to wipe her self down and you do it too). That worked really well for when he wet himself. I also found that insiting on pull ups if he's out was a good thing...if she doesn't like them she'l soon realise using the potty to poop in will mean no more pull ups!

I know its really hard but you must try not to shout/tell her off....its really frustrating but the less pressure she feels the easier it will be.

I think if you use pull ups it should need to take toys off hher unless you have to!

Hope that helps!

Toni x

Boo&BugsMom replied: I agree with the punishments. Anything else will only give her what she not have to go poop in the potty. IMHO, the last thing you want to do is put her in pull ups because sooner or later this will happen again and you will only prolong the inevitable. It's time to get tough, but the outcome will be worth it. Accidents are one thing, but making the choice to not go is another and sometimes they just can't have the choice and it's up to the parent to get firm. hug.gif

ETA: Tanner and two of my daycare girls went through stages like this. All I had to set up consequences for. It didn't last more than a week after that. Interesting how one of them kept doing it at home for awhile after because mom and dad were "afraid" to get firm. As soon as they started putting their foot down, amazing how she stopped at home too. wink.gif

My2Beauties replied: Thanks guys I feel better now. She's done it again since this post...I took her baby dolls away this last time. She got really upset over that...she promised me she would poop in the potty the next time so we'll see. I'm going to fill our magazine thing up int he bathroom with her books and even some of her toys and stuff to make her feel more comfortable with it. I mean she knows pooping in the potty is wrong, she will tell you it's wrong but she thinks it's funny. rolleyes.gif I just feel so bad taking her toys away, but I didn't know what else to do guys. If she does it again, I may have to try something else with her....It could possibly be because of the new baby but she's done this before even before I was pregnant, but it just didn't last as long.

redplaydoh replied: How's the potty situation coming along? I went through this with Lucas during the summer. I took away some of his "big boy" toys and that had some effect but didn't stop it. As gross as it was I made him clean up the poop... all of it. From the floor to his underwear, then of course he'd get a bath (without bath toys) to clean him up. After doing this twice he stopped and hasn't had a poop accident since.

jacobsmama replied: I also agree if you have tried rewards and that is working the next logical thing to do would be take away privelages and that is what toys are! blush.gif I also wanted to say that if she is like jacob he loves taking bath to play even if just in the water with no toys! emlaugh.gif so make sure if she does do it bad enough to go in bath it is straight in and straight out so she has no fun with it.

Good luck and I think you are doing it the perfect way! hug.gif

MommyToAshley replied: I agree... it definitely sounds like a control issue. And, I agree with the discipline.

I didn't have the same sort of control issures with poopy that you are having, but we did have some "control" issues in other areas. One thing I found with Ashley is that she does a better job of following the rules when I give her choices in other areas. If you think about it, they have a bunch of rules to follow, have to go where we tell them, when we tell them, and we're always adding new rules. So, it may very well be a control thing. If you don't already, you might try giving her choices in other areas... what to have for snack, what to do for play time, what to wear, etc. It might sound weird, but it really did make a difference with Ashley.

Good luck.. let us know how it goes!

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