Am I wrong?

Boys r us wrote: Tanner's bio, sperm donor, dad called yesterday...4 days b/f thanksgiving mind you and says, "Can I take Tanner wednesday thru Sunday to North Carolina with me for Thanksgiving to my mom's?

Just to be nice, I said, Let me think it over.

So I just talked to him and I said:


After thinking it over long and hard to be fair, I've decided against letting him go.

The main reason is b/c not only are you asking for him on Thanksgiving, but also the weekend following Thanksgiving. So he would not only miss Turkey day at my grandparents and Rick's parents that on actual Thanksgiving, but he would miss our thanksgiving with my parents on sunday as well. If you were only asking for him for like Thursday and Friday, I probably would have said okay.
That is the main reason..but there are several other factors..for instance:

2ndly, You are asking me to give up my holiday with him so that your mom can see him...when she has no interest in his life any other time of the year and hasn't even called to talk to him in like 4 years??? PLEASE!

and..Not that I would ever let this stand in the way of you visiting with Tanner, but you haven't paid any child support in a very long time..so I have a hard time putting your feelings and wants in front of my own when it comes to willingly giving my time up with him for the whole holiday weekend so that you can take him and show him off to your family. You know..you want me to put your wants in front of my own, but you don't even put his needs in front of your own.


He was mad..but I'm sorry, that's how I feel!
Was I wrong?

mckayleesmom replied: No...I agree with you....If it was just for a couple days...I would say sure, but not if hes going to miss every thanksgiving event on your side of the family.

KingMom replied: Absolutely not, good for you!

~Roo'sMama~ replied: I don't think you're wrong. If it wasn't both weekends it would be ok but he has to be able to have thanksgiving with you, too. If he's so set on having Tanner for Thanksgiving, I'd tell him he can't take him the next weekend because you don't want to miss the holiday with your family all together.

gr33n3y3z replied: No you right about this

Sarah&Mackenzie replied: I totally agree with what you said, you are not at all wrong.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: You know the answer lady!!! You did the right thing IMO.

My2Beauties replied: I think you did the right thing by all means! Nichole you have every right to not let him take Tanner for that amount of time, I can't believe he even had the audacity to ask you!

TANNER'S MOM replied: No you were right... Your family.. whom he see's and loves take precedent.. You need to train your new little boy dog.. to hike his leg just right.. when he does come over..lol

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I think you were absolutely right.

My3LilMonkeys replied: You are definately right!

ions_momma replied: I think you are definately right!

jem0622 replied: Sounds like he is not around at all? Do I have that right? Besides little or no financial support? If the answer is yes to all of these then yep you made the absolute best decision and did the right thing by standing up to him!

HUGS

beautifullychaotic replied: I agree you did the right thing.

holley79 replied:

If it were just for a few days of the weekend then maybe. We are toe to toe right now with DH's ex because she's trying to keep him all 4 days and she has to work the opposite of me. (DH does pay his CS on time everytime.) Not to mention we are here locally and Dh's son is 17.

Boys r us replied: He does see him every few weeks, which is something recent. He wasn't involved in his life AT ALL until about 2 years ago. I've encouraged their relationship b/c while I know that it may not effect Tanner as a 9 yr old not to have him there, but one day he would realize everything and be hurt that his dad wasn't in his life. But there is a difference in encouraging a healthy relationship and saying, "oh sure...take him to another state for 4 days..over a holiday when he won't be back home until I have to go back to work and he won't get to see any of his family who IS here for him all of the time in his life..sure sounds great!"

3xsthefun replied: I also think you are right.

punkeemunkee'smom replied: You were NOT wrong! Thanksgiving is meant to be spent with FAMILY that means the family you are with all the time! Besides you don't want Tanner to get the ordamental child feeling-you know go to Grandma's on holidays,don't hear from her any other time-been there done that-it is NOT a good feeling!

A&A'smommy replied: NO DEFINITLY NOT wrong!!

USMCwife replied: I agree w/ you completely!