Am I being selfish? - lack of xmas gifts

mom89 wrote: My husband and I have been married for 8yrs. now. For Christmas this year he gave me the season 8 of friends on dvd(which is what I wanted)and thats all. nothing else. I got a few other things from people-hardly from family-so now I feel sad. Should I be? Or am I being selfish? He did ask me 2-3mos. ago what I wanted and I gave him some ideas(forget what they were now)but that is all I got.
Of course,for my birthday(5 days before Christmas)he got me a beautiful robe and a dvd I wasn't expecting but like.
I hear from friends on what their hubbys got them or I read countless stories from people on different boards who got tons of stuff and me-hardly anything.
I know its the thought that counts but I can't help feeling sad especially when I read stories.
Oh I got him a wireless keyboard and mouse which he doesn't care for. He wanted one,but not that style. ugh I also got him a digital tire gauge that I guess he doesn't care for. grrr
So I guess that would make us even? sorry,I can't help feeling sad. Makes me want to go use our sears card and spend,spend,spend. LOL!
Sorry,I REALLY had to get this off my chest.

party-of-six replied: But did your KIDS have a good Christmas? That is what is truly important. I have felt a little left out at Christmas but I resolved this year to NOT get upset over Christmas and the lack of thought that goes into the gifts that my husband gets me. He sort of surprised me this year, but my teenager was a big part of that. I got a watch (showed DD what I wanted) and a pedometer (gave DH the link to the one i liked) and a $50 gift card to Target (like that will ever get spent on me...LOL) . That was it as far as real gifts.....I did get some new sharpies and dry erase markers...yes markers. I got some alligator-clip magnets for the fridge....oh, and some bath stuff...that is nice.
I am sorry that you are not terribly happy with what you got. One thing you can do next year is while you are out shopping, pick up something nice and wrap it...to me from me, and put it under the tree. I have a friend whose husband always tells her to get herself something from him so that he can sign his name on the tag....she even has to wrap it. OR, you can get your mom, sister, friend, someone to go shopping WITH him and help him choose some nice things for you. Some men have to be taught these things. Sad, but true.
{{{{HUGS}}}}

coasterqueen replied: I'm not sure what to say. My DH and I haven't gotten each other gifts for years because we get enough during the year and honestly are more worried about how to afford getting gifts for our DD than us.

moped replied: Well I feel that the older I get the less importnant it is, and really for adults some company and freinds and family is the most importnat, I don't want Jack growing up thinking that christmas is all about gifts. I really didn't get much but that was because I made both our families draw names (money issues) and I know it was hard for DH to get me my $150 toothbrush, which I love.

Do you guys have tons of money to buy gifts?? We sure don't and even for our birthdays we don't get much. I tell my husband to get nothing (birthday in November) and I got a digital pic of Jack and a nice card. That was great.

Go out and spend if your budget allows it

I just love being with family and freinds

Kirstenmumof3 replied: Because of our finances, we decided not to give each other gifts this year. I mean DH's parents just lent us money to get a new car and we had our trip to Duluth, MN just a week before Christmas. I guess if you are feeling badly about maybe you and your DH should talk about this for next year and decide how much you are going to spend. I'm sorry you are feeling this way.

Mommy2BAK replied: I don't know, that sounds sort of silly to me seeing as how all I got from my hubby was a CD. We like to spend our money on our family and now our baby.

mammag replied: My dh and I don't usually exchange. We have 4 kids so the money is spent on them. We usually get $$ from family so a lot of times we go shopping for ourselves after Christmas. As far as the rest of the family, we have an agreement not to buy for each other and instead just enjoy the company and watching all the kids.

I figure if we are going to spend money I might as well pick what I want instead of spending money trying to surprise each other with things we might not even like.

mummy2girls replied: What matters is that your kids are happy. I know it can be heart breaking to not get anything but your hubby did get you something. Id be annoyed if hubby got me nothing... but im not married either so what do i know

I hope you feel better

~Roo'sMama~ replied: Dh and I just get each other one present each Christmas... last year he got me earrings which I love. This year we had more money so he got me a kitchenaid mixer which I also love... but next year who knows we might not have a lot of money again so it might not be something so big. A couple years ago all he got me was a bathrobe and I thought nothing of it... I really like it too.
So I don't think that how many presents you get or how cool it is really matters.

MommyToAshley replied: There were a few years where I felt like all the magic was gone in Christmas. DH is thoughtful, but for some reason I was in a funk.

But, the past two years have been completely different for me. Not because of what I received, but I was so excited to watch Ashley. We spent most of our time, effort and money into making it a wonderful Christmas for her... and I don't think any gift could top that for me.

Maybe when she is older and Christmas isn't as big of a deal to her, I may go back to how it was. I try not to make Christmas about presents and remember why we celebrate it, but sometimes it's hard not to get wrapped up in all that.

Maddie&EthansMom replied:
This is us. I know the money isn't there so I just don't want him buying me anything. If I need/want something I normally just get it for myself. I always get DH a little something from the kids, but we mainly just focus on the children.

DansMom replied: DH and I don't spend money on each other at Christmas time. We do one household project a year (we have an old house badly in need of updates in every area) and call that is our gift to each other. We do silly gifts, like I fill his stocking with bars of soap and batteries, and he fills mine with socks.

mom89 replied: Yea..you all are right. I guess maybe he didn't know what else to get me(we both are hard to shop for-course,to my hubby,I am. lol)
And I agree,its silly being I am 34,lol
Maybe from now on I'll just buy something for myself.